Ben Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve, will take a seat in front of the press to answer questions about the FOMC announcement on Wednesday.

While many can predict what questions will be asked and how the central bank’s chairman will respond, what would happen if he decided to throw his politeness out the door and start getting real?

Luckily, the folks over at the Washington Post have done just that:

Question: There has been some debate among FOMC members over how long the QE3 program of buying $85 billion in bonds each month will continue. Is there a consensus on the committee as to when the purchases will stop?

Probable answer: The Committee will evaluate incoming information about the economy and calibrate our Large-Scale Asset Purchases, the so-called QE programs, accordingly.

Less probable answer: Look, I know you guys want me to stand up here and tell you exactly how long we’ll keep buying bonds. And that would be great if I could. But obviously that depends entirely on how the economy does as the year progresses and whether we’re making progress toward bringing down unemployment or not. Heck, depending on how much the sequester drags on growth, there’s a decent chance that I’ll be long gone and busy having Bob Barnett negotiate my seven-figure book deal before the Fed stops buying bonds.