If you are like me, and going to Las Vegas for next week’s massive Mortgage Bankers Association’s annual convention and expo, than chances are you are also a white male.

Since we have so much more in common — we read HousingWire, love the mortgage business and travel often to conventions — here are the five things you will absolutely need before getting on a plane to the City of Sin.

How do I know you need them? Because I need them, too.

Here are the five things you absolutely need for the MBA, and heck, for other conventions as well, in order of least necessary, to “you will probably die if you do not do this” order of importance.

1)  A good, daily moisturizing lotion.

moisturizing cream

The air in the Mandalay Bay is probably the same air that occupied the space when the casino was built and opened back in the late 1990s. Except now, that air has been inhaled and exhaled by about a bajillion smoking gamblers. This will dry out your skin and you will look like you went to sleep at 3 a.m. the night before. And that won’t be the case, will it?

Editor's Note: the plastic cup pedestal is not necessary. Repeat: not necessary. It was put up there to try to make a better photo, but the flash was off and I need to pack...

2) A good mouthwash

mouthwash

Keep this with you and rinse at least three times a day. Why? You’re talking a lot. I’m talking a lot. See the point in item #1 about the air. Our mouths will not hold the minty freshness from the morning routine until cocktail hour. This is just science.

Do you need to get the Listerine, though? Yes. Look at the bottle. It’s TSA compliant. You need to be as TSA compliant as possible when travelling. Period. Make it a habit. Buy this mouthwash.

3) Deodorant

deodorant

Even if you don’t use deodorant in your normal day-to-day, please use deodorant at the MBA. I’m going to leave it at that.

But as an added bonus, little travel sizes of deodorant look pretty amazing in pictures when you wrap you manly man hands around it and squeeze!

That is simply a fact.

4) Shaving cream

shaving cream

Try shaving without this! Ouch! And the blood. Yuck. So you’re like, “Proglide?! I’m an amateur shaver, I’m not ready to go pro!” Relax, that is just the marketing used by Gillette, it really has no bearing on the performance of the product. Also, there is no fusion happening inside the can of shaving cream. Again, a gimmick.

Although, the argument could be made that the better the shaving cream, the better the shave. And for those of us who don’t use/need after shave (me!), then this or something comparable will work. Even if you use an electric shaver, consider bring shaving cream. It just might shave your life.

5) Toothbrush and toothpaste

toothbrush

Look, these two cutesy items come wrapped in a reusable pouch! Aww.

Focus, people! You need a toothbrush and toothpaste because brushing your teeth prevents some seriously bad diseases and poor oral health is linked to coronary ailments. Brushing your teeth can literally prevent you from dying early. It’s so important that, heck, you should be brushing your teeth every day.

Not just at the MBA, but EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

See all of you in Vegas.