If you’re like me, and I know I am, you live not in fear of the coming zombie apocalypse, but the certain and informed knowledge of the coming zombie apocalypse.

Heck I wrote a book on the last one. (If I’m going to plug Century 21 with their stunt, I might as well plug my own zombie foray.)

Anyway, mere planks and too much talking aren’t going to save you when the walking dead come ringing your doorbell and asking for braaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnssss. But, it gets you started. And by you, I literally mean you.

As for me, my basement – the government mandates that I call it a “fortified compound”... whatevs – has three-inch steel walls and a door with a small, hardened glass portal so that I can watch the begging of all the people who said I was crazy for building my shelter in the first place. Call me a redneck if you wish, but this country boy is gonna survive and thrive.

Anyway, Century 21 Real Estate, in celebration of both Halloween and the new season of Walking Dead, is offering the next best thing – a full-on Zombie Proofing Kit for your home.

Complete with particle boards and nails, the Century 21 “Zombie Proof Your Home Kit” is available for the highest bidder and will be critical in protecting your house from any lame brain invaders.

Here’s the trick: All proceeds from the bids on the Kit will be donated to Century 21 Real Estate’s longtime philanthropic partner, Easter Seals.